Dry Chicken and Noodles (shaken, not stirred)

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20110805

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Dry Chicken and Noodles (shaken, not stirred)




Setting aside my survival plans for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, I look back on the day and wonder if anything really happened. The morning started with a fly invasion of grand proportions (which was the thing that woke me up from my rest). This made me slightly angry, but then I was almost thankful, as it turned out the time was already 2PM.

Taking my morning (now late) shower, I decided to eat some cereal, but there was no milk. This was indeed a dire conflict, as the dryness of the cereal made me thirsty, yet there was no milk to satisfy my parched throat. After this painful meal I decided to drink some water, but alas, there was no ice. Slightly cold water would have to be good enough for now. Not cold enough, but cool enough to drink.

I log onto LS to see that there are no new posts in my topics. This is met with an inward sigh (as there is no one else around to see it anyways, so why waste the energy of making a real sigh when I can mentally create one?). But my day is too important for me to dwell on this. I decide to take up a book. I read for one page; stop. Move on to something else. My attention span was not as long as I previously thought it was, making this book reading business quite slow. That's just how it is.

Can't linger on the thought for long, have to move to another one. I go to youtube, turn on some music, and forget to play another one after it stops. This habit irritates me, but at the same time I never notice it, so it's fair game. If my habits had a face, I would punch them, but then again I would be punching myself, as my habits are essentially who I am, so I deem that as a bad idea.

Dinner bells (yells) are ringing (booming), so I get up from my chair. I stub my toe on the steps, wondering why I couldn't have raised my foot an inch higher above that step. I curse my foot and move on, instead giving it the cold shoulder, which works much better than yelling at it.

For dinner is fake chicken and noodles. No, not chicken & noodles, chicken and noodles. They are separate. Dry noodles in a pot and dry chicken on a plate. I drown the taste out with ketchup, and down it with some--now lukewarm--water. Delicious is not a good word to describe this, so I do not use it. Tasteless works, but my belly is now full and I am ready to finish up the day.

I walk down the stairs, not stubbing my toe this time, and enter my domain, taking a seat in the chair that I often find uncomfortable but at that moment I could not care less. All that matters is that I am sitting at my computer, the precious device that I use for nearly everything and anything. The only thing it does not provide me with is food and a place to empty my bowels. But perhaps that is for the best. I would not like to eat with a device I use to store my waste...

Moving on, I cannot find anything else to do. For a moment after that thought, I feel like doing something productive, then I remember that I do not want to, so the productiveness doesn't happen. So I resort to entertaining myself by writing a blog on LS--- OH WAIT! Here I am!

Congratulations, you have witnessed a day in the life of a hero. That hero is, of course, myself. Presented with dramatic narrative, I hope that you found this enjoyable. Granted, this is a hope. I am not expecting anything. Sometimes a day in the life of a hero is just too much for normal minds to bear.

Have a nice day, and remember... Lift that foot a little higher after each step.

-Chef

P.S. No, I did not do drugs today, I promise.

P.S.S. Well, I guess I could've...

P.S.S.S. Yeah, I totally took drugs.

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Dry Chicken and Noodles (shaken, not stirred) :: Comments

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Post on Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:00 am by Kamikaze_X

This was the most mind-blowing thing I have read all day. Chef, you are indeed a hero now, and shall go down in Interwebz history for this. This shit will become pinned soon. XD

Also.. in regards to your comment on "no comments in your topics" see WR and Hysteria... >_> I'm waiting on you.

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Post on Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:20 am by Chef

Spoiler:

Actually I am waiting in WR for Spec. xD And hey, I posted in Hysteria recently! Are you sure you're waiting on me?

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Post on Sat Aug 06, 2011 3:50 am by Maikuolan

I'm a zombie that somehow learnt how to post on internet forums. Hurr hurr, watch me roar. *Roar*

BRAAAAINS!

Seriously though, kudos.

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Post on Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:37 pm by Chef

ZOMBIIIIEEEEEESSS!!!!

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Post on Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:23 pm by DJ.

I think this qualifies me that I can blog a huge ol' post about things that annoy me at work, i.e. LAZY PEOPLE.

I could give a full rant on that and my complaints with "clothes" now days. I'll expand later if you want but it would entail lots and lots of caps along with walls of text.

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Post on Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:09 pm by Kamikaze_X

Go for it bro.

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Post on Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:11 pm by DJ.

Very Happy

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Post on Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:26 am by Chef

Rants are very fun, especially if they are ridiculous.

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