The Art of Soiling Pants

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The Art of Soiling Pants




The Art of Soiling Pants


This will be somewhat of a pilot episode for my blogging adventure. If people like this stuff, I will continue to write, but if people hate it and want to stab their eyes out because of the terribleness that has accumulated on their screen, I will probably wait more and practice. That said...please enjoy!

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Spoiler:

Horror? Is that you, pal?

In our age, there is something called horror that many people enjoy. For almost a century, people have been willingly going to movies, reading books, and playing video games to find the best ways to soil their pants. While no one will ever understand how a pleasant human being can get pleasure out of this, it remains to be a pastime for people trying to have fun.

It has been practiced so much, in fact, that horror has become some sort of an art. Back then, when anyone could get scared at a creepy black and white film, horror wasn't all that complicated. There would be a few jumps, a couple murders, maybe a scary monster, and then it would be over. This does not apply to all horror films of the past, but a vast majority are unashamedly cheesy B-movie flicks.

As time went on, people supposedly got more clever and special effects got more prevalent, making it easier for them to make SCARY monsters!
Spoiler:

Yes, you can tell that she is absolutely terrified by his blueness.

History lesson aside, horror has changed a lot over the days, not exactly for the best. Half the movies that you will see today will contain loads of blood, gore, and females with pronounced chests. People seem to think that the only way to scare people these days is by hacking people's limbs off in front of them and dumping blood over their eyes.

This is not horror. This...is....gore-porn. People love this stuff, but it isn't horror. Sure, seeing someone get bloodied is a bit terrifying, but isn't that in almost every movie there is? Does that mean every Rambo flick is a horror movie? Of course not. The thing is, times change, and as times change, so does horror, but not in a good way (almost parallel with music here).

Just look at the Resident Evil series. They started out pretty well, making you feel helpless before the zombies you would encounter. But as the series went on, they soon translated from survival games to third person shooters. It started with four, which was scary, but was very predictable because of their horror techniques. They would always try to make you jump by making their generic zombies jump out every so often, which you end up getting used to, and making it fun to fight them. The word "fun" is the keyword I am looking at here. You shouldn't have a fun time in a zombie infested world. You should be so scared, that you'll want to avoid these evil creatures as much as possible! But no, the "horror" game, Resident Evil Four, encourages you to fight and blow up as many zombie heads as possible, because, of course, it's easy.
Spoiler:

Prime example of why Resident Evil Four isn't scary. Who the hell gets the chills when they have a LASER cannon by their side?

Another good example of a horror series some may recognize is the Silent Hill games. They focus on scaring you psychologically with messed up creatures and scary music, along with a mystifying plot and an overall scary feeling to the areas. In these games they have focused on making you afraid of the enemies you face. They want you to run in terror, and running in terror is what you will do, because you control a normal person. Not a military chief, not a gun-blazing hero, an average Joe just looking for a way out of his troubles. But, this said, Silent Hill is not a perfect series. The next game that came out, Silent Hill: Homecoming, pulled a Resident Evil and focused on the combat instead of horror, making it an action game with more gore than usual, not a horror game.
Spoiler:

Man, Silent Hill sure is foggy. Hardly can see a--wait... What the hell is that thing?!

I apologize with the rant of horror in video games, but I feel that they are better examples to go off of than the countless movies out there today. The point I am getting across is that horror is the act of being scared, not being grossed out. You must feel afraid of the things you see, not just disturbed. Because of most modern content, horror can only be described as a freaky gore-fest by most. I don't think that we should have to go so low to rely on gore as an aspect of horror. The greatest horror is the unknown, and God knows that blood is certainly nothing unknown to us. Please, I pray, make those movie and game makers learn how to make us soil our pants again, or the horror genre may be forever lost.

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Well, I certainly hope most of you have gotten a clear image of what "true" horror is (unless I have failed, that is, in writing this). This was my first blog ever created, so I hope that you liked it. That said, I must take my leave from the keyboard now and start to do other things with my life. Good day.

Signed,
Chef

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The Art of Soiling Pants :: Comments

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Post on Sat Apr 10, 2010 11:35 pm by Redcoat

I agree totally with this thought-provoking and interesting article. The world needs more proper horror!

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Post on Sat Apr 10, 2010 11:46 pm by Kamikaze_X

Nice job with this, really great. I agree completely. What actually horror is to me are usually ghost and supernatural flicks or even psychological horror. All the cutting and murdering is only scary until you're numb to it after a while.

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Post on Sat Apr 10, 2010 11:50 pm by Gath_Stormer

Excellent. You truly got the point across and I agree. People should make some real scary stuff!!

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Post on Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:07 am by Chef

Thanks for the comments! I'm glad You guys enjoyed it!

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Post on Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:26 am by Golden Time Lover

It was awesome Chef.

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Post on Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:56 pm by DJ.

I enjoyed that. Good point about Horror.

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