Descent Into /b/

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Descent Into /b/

Post by King Calamity on Sat Feb 27, 2010 11:50 pm

Much of the internet speaks of 4chan as the forbidden lands, where the worst of the worst lurks, and with good reason. As Robert Brockway said, 4chan has rounded up much of the worst the internet has to offer and kept them all in one easy to avoid site. The dreaded random section of 4chan, /b/, is the most infamous. And, as it is easy, we avoid it. However, we are missing out on some true insight.

4chan allows users to post anonymously, and /b/ has no rules. No rules and anonymity makes a world without consequences, and a world without consequences brings out the worst in a man. /b/ is humanity's dark side, proudly showing itself.

For example, if you play a sandbox game, you probably, at some point, kill an old person. In real life, that's sick, but in a game with no consequences, it's hilarious. /b/ is the part of you that loves to kill old ladies.

I chose to look our dark side in the eyes, to say "I acknowledge you, so that I may not become you." I descended into /b/. I went there so you don't have to. And so, without further ado, here it is:

Descent Into /b/

It is beginning. I have solitude, and have cut off all other forms of contact with the outside world. I have turned on private browsing, (God knows I don't want this in my history) and I move my mouse over the /b/ link. There's no turning back, and I will soon enter our digital hell.

So far, nothing too bad. A picture about a video of a kid. No link is provided, only the url in the picture, meaning I cannot copy paste it and I'll be damned if I'm going to type all that in. Two people claim the kid goes to their school, and I seriously doubt either is telling the truth.

A picture of some honey liquor. Maybe /b/ is getting less... horrifying.

Miley Cyrus. A horrible snake monster, but her disguise is on, so still nothing too bad.

People are freaking out because a guy wants to prove .999=1. Is this really a big deal to them? I'm starting to notice the stupidity.

Someone posted two ladies on a car, then the thread was filled with pornography.

Mortal Kombat movie picture. Nobody responded.

Somebody's birthday? He asks for tips about the site, and is told by the second commenter to fuck off. The third commenter posts a picture of a small girl surrounded by large bearded men.

… aaand here we go. Guy posts how when his sister showers, he sniffs her used panties and wanks in her socks. Surprisingly, other /b/ dwellers do not approve of this.

Except for one who stated the following: “I wish i had a sister so i could smell her butthole while she sleeps”

Actually, I find less disapproval and more questions on the smell and requests for pictures as I go down. I'm getting into the bad things, now.

Someone posts a picture of a girl with a body covered in... is it eyes? Anyway, he says, “im just gonna leave this here... “ And commenters post pictures and rhyme with the original post. That is, a picture of the script to Shakespeare's King Lear, with “I'm just gonna leave this King Lear,” and a mug of beer with “I'm just gonna leave this beer.” Huh.

A Russian hammer and sickle (no comments) followed by a threat of death if the reader does not post.

The bottom has ads for pornography, apparently. To the next page, perhaps this one will be more like what I've heard of /b/.

A graph, saying that, as intelligence increases, so does troll-ability. Intelligence is spelled wrong.

A comic of an army of creatures in /b/ shirts who attack a man in a /v/ shirt, who rips them apart. What?

Posting crimes they've commited. Obviously, the second comment is: “i fucked a dog in the ass “

I found a picture of Vince and Jules from Pulp Fiction with Stormtrooper heads. As a Pulp Fiction fan, I just thought that was worth mentioning.

Another death threat to post.

I think this is an image of a mutilated corpse. The poster seems to like this, saying: “nom nom nom.”

It got a lot of responses, many people posting their own pictures of mutilated bodies, many of them also nude. I can't believe I looked at the whole thread.

And here's the bestiality. I'm surprised it took so long, but now I am truly seeing the horrifying things /b/ is famous for. The original poster asked for similar pictures, and the commenters were more than happy to oblige.

Next page...

Not much on that page. Regular pornography doesn't really phase me, and there was somebody who didn't know what a floppy disc was, so all in all, a not so shocking page. Next...

… And someone posted a picture of a large penis, requesting a rating from 1-10.

Mass Effect rule 34 thread. I've seen much worse when it comes to that rule.

A guy who says he wants to try cocaine, asking for advice.

And here's the same mutilated corpse, followed by the same “nom nom nom.” Now I see. Posting mutilated corpse threads on /b/ is completely normal.

A thread for what I think is racist pictures. Next page...

A guy claiming to be an alpha male who has sex with many girls. The odds of him telling the truth I'd say are about... .02%

I'm not sure what to say. This poster gives a picture of two small girls in a cage, one biting the other, saying: “My sex slaves are starting to bite each other..

What Do?” For some reason, I have a bad feeling this isn't a joke.

A (proclaimed) girl saying her boyfriend made her a PB&J sandwich, asking what /b/ thinks of this. I don't get it.

That's enough for now.

What have we learned?

We've learned mutilated corpses are a normal thing to show here.

We've learned that the posters find this delicious.

We've learned that people genuinely think /b/ is a good place to ask for advice on drugs and other things. Are they stupid, or is this the only website they have access to?

We've learned it's a good place to ask for advice on how to take care of your child sex slaves.

We've learned /b/ and /v/ are apparently in a bloody war.

We've learned people love to ask what /b/ thinks about mundane details of their lives, such as PB&J sandwiches.

Finally, we've learned /b/ isn't made entirely of insane, disgusting, idiotic threads and pictures. There's a bunch of pointless stuff too.
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Chef on Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:07 am

Bravo!

This was funny to read and it is actually good insight on what to expect, as I don't feel like ever descending into /b/....ever... I applaud your bravery!

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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Kamikaze_X on Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:14 am

This... was a great story. I am expecting more, will there be? O_O
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by King Calamity on Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:14 am

Yes, I will probably take another dive next Saturday.
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Redcoat on Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:29 pm

Good lord this is epic.
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Golden Time Lover on Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:57 pm

I have also Descended into /b/.

For some reason I always seem to get worst.
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Maikuolan on Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:20 pm

Meh, I've seen worse than /b/ out there before. There's worse to be found on 4chan, if you either know how to find it or have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon it; Section that aren't openly advertised. Razz

But yes, the whole thing is rather pointless IMO..
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by King Calamity on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:18 pm

Maybe so, but /b/ is recognized by the masses. I could do "Descent into www.horribleinsanebutobscuresite.com, but nobody would recognize that. The thing is, the name /b/ has stopping power. So, with all due respect, your comment brought me down for a minute or two. It's the internet, you don't need to act your age so much. Razz


Anyway, It's that time again! The time that I go there so you don't have to.

Making preparations...

Went to the bathroom. As much as I'd love to be interrupted, focus is important.

Activated private browsing. I'm beginning to become very familiar with this tool...

Entered the site. I love how it has a disclaimer. They know full well what's happened.

Clicked the /b/ link...

Thread about boobies. Simple.

A poster asks for a Starcraft 2 beta key. However, the picture is of a man with his face covered in fecal matter, so the thread was quickly filled with scat porn. I didn't look closely, but I'm pretty sure he didn't get his beta key. Eventually, this evolved into a gore thread where a saw a decapitated fetus.

I probably should've stopped when a saw a dissected baby. But no, I just kept going, looking at every piece of proof that these people no longer have gag reflexes or a sense of decency. My head hurts...

A racist calls out Muslims to debate their religion on the phone with him.

The boy in these pictures may or may not be underage, but that doesn't change the fact I just looked through a thread of naked pictures of men. I issue an apology to myself.

I poster claims to have stolen a thong from a woman next door, and asks what to do with it. The first couple of suggestions are to kill himself with it, followed by some suggestions to eat it and other ways of putting it inside himself.

Gay porn.

A poster asks if anybody recognizes a song with a guitar riff that goes “DUN...

DUH NUH NUH...

DUH NUH NUH, DUH NUH NUH,

DUN-- DUN DUN!!”

This turns to a lot of mindless postings of DUN DUN NUH comments.

I have to leave, perhaps to vomit, so that's all for now.

What have we learned?

We learned that, if you want to make a request, such as a beta key, you'd better be damn sure that your picture has a small chance of turning into a thread of sick, depraved images. Of course, this is /b/, so the chance is always there, but don't make it too easy.

We learned that you should look no more than .00052 seconds at that thread.

We learned that racists, though capable of accessing the internet, are incapable of instant messaging or email, relying on the chance that someone will actually call them long distance to get bashed with intolerance.

We've learned that the populace of /b/ does not have a particularly large number of ideas on what to do with stolen panties.

We learned I don't have much to say upon the appearance of gay porn.

We have not learned, however, what the song is that starts with the guitar riff of;

DUN...

DUH NUH NUH...

DUH NUH NUH, DUH NUH NUH,

DUN-- DUN DUN!!
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Kamikaze_X on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:30 pm

LOL... you are a saint KC, a damn saint. XDD
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Redcoat on Mon Mar 22, 2010 8:03 pm

ROFLMAO

That's... that's incredible. KC, I'm very sorry. XD
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Golden Time Lover on Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:25 pm

Gay Porn, my favorite!
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Ducky on Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:29 pm

...Stolen...Panties....?

Who actually does things like that?
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by King Calamity on Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:30 pm

/b/tards, obviously. You expected better of them?
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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Chef on Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:46 pm

The adventures of /b/ might be some of the scariest adventures yet. I love a good humorous, horrific, non-fiction story every once in a while!

I shall await for the next dive...

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Re: Descent Into /b/

Post by Ducky on Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:10 pm

I'd punish someone if they'd even attempt stealing my panties.
1) Panty theft is a creeper move
2) Breaking and entering is just another reason to call murder 'self defence'
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